Sunday, December 9, 2018

The Morals and Main Themes of the MCU

Afghanistan sucks.

When in doubt, become a superhero in a clunky gray metal suit and kill people who were meanies to you on the Afghanistan playground.

If you’re a green monster with purple panties who’s birth was an accident, commit suicide with Captain America behind you, stuck in a mountain, rolling in his grave.

The 40s also sucked.

Tom Huddleston is a lost boi.

Smack googley eyes and yellow “armor” made of paper onto a wrinkled grape, put it on a weirdly-shaped rock in front of a photoshopped blackish blue sky, put it in front of a camcorder, and you have a solid The Avengers (2012) Thanos post-credits cameo recreation.

Iron Man 3 sucked.

Thor is now a lost boi when Loki dies.

80s music is the best when you’re captured to a prison in space with a talking tree and raccoon, and Basically She-Hulk.

The sequel to the 80s music MCU movie was released in Phase 3 but apparently takes place only a frickin’ month after the first one.

Thanos appears again...and he’s...blue...?

Batman v Superman. Civil War. Two movies with two superheroes against each other. In the same year. In the same season, summer 2016. Hmm.

Get yo box office money, black man! Er...panther?

Spider-Man, Spider-Man, in 10 years, he’s probably gonna be only with Sony’s films again... 🎶

Bugs Bunny saying “What’s up, doc?” while wearing a red magical cape.

Hulk is a lost boi in Thor: Ragnarok.

It was either the chest or Thanos’s pretty, wrinkled, purple (or pink?) face. He chose Thanos’s chest over the pretty face.

When you’re Giant-Man and you go into the ocean, you’ll get oversized on Quantum Particle steroids and fall into the harbor.

Captain Marvel’s main theme or moral: TBA

Avengers: Endgame’s main theme or moral: TBA

Spider-Man: Far From Home’s main theme or moral: TBA

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